Last week I had to do the worst and saddest thing an animal owner usually has to do in the world: go to the vet and let the cat be put to sleep.

My kitty was 18 years old and I’ve had her since I was five, so I do not know how I can stop being sad. I have some questions though:

The last year my cat was bad at jumping so I put up stools and stuff everywhere so she could still get up where she wanted, but last month she became very bad at walking too.

Last year she started drinking more and also urinated more, but it did not smell strange. She had her bad days and her good days. She also began to hear poorly and got some kind of cataract in one eye.

In recent months, I thought she had her worse days more and more often and she also got worse at eating, but she did not lose weight. So one day last week she did not want to eat or drink and she just lay down and could barely change lying position herself.

I fed her gruel from a syringe (without a needle) and waited until the next day, but then she was even worse so I went to the vet and thought I should let her fall asleep.

I still wonder: Did I do the right thing? Or maybe it’s me doing it too late? She was happy and alert and cozy the last year even though she could not jump and run.

At the vet’s she was given a syringe that would contain some sleeping pills and then when the cat fell asleep another substance would start to work so that the cat’s organs stopped working.

Can I be sure that the cat was not tormented? And can I be sure that when I finally left her that she did not wake up?

It may be a silly question, but I loved her so much and it hurts so much to think of her as I sat there holding her while she died. I think she understood that she was going to die when I went in with her, but she was so calm.

She has always screamed and when I’ve driven a car, but now she barely cared.

She also did not care that she went to the vet.

Do you think that maybe she knew that the end was near or that she wanted to die because she was so bad?

I am very grateful for answers.

It’s so hard and I have no one to talk to who understands how awful it is when even your beloved cat passes away!

The Cat Advisor Answered question May 29, 2022